Harusi na Michango: Who Pays for What?

The topic of money and who pays for the wedding is one of the questions most commonly asked in the early stages of wedding planning.  These days the division of who pays for what has evolved and changed to adapt to what fits each couple, and we think it’s about time.  This article is meant to address the question of who traditionally pays for what.  We’re giving you this list as a starting point, but strongly encourage you to take this list and make it work for you! 

Groom’s Financial Responsibilities:

  • Engagement and wedding ring for the bride
  • The wedding rings, wedding dresses and accessories for both of you.

  * Sometimes, dresses for your Bride maid of honour and a Best man (Depends on your negotiations)
  • A wedding gift for your Bride

  • A gift for your parents
  • Medical exam for both of you
  • Hair, makeup and beauty treatments on the wedding day.

The couple with the best-man and a matron

  • Accommodations for your out-of-town guests & attendants
  • Bridal bouquet
  • Gifts for the groomsmen and ushers
  • Cost of the marriage license
  • Officiant’s fees
  • Honeymoon
  • Transportation for bride & groom at the end of the night
  • Transportation to the honeymoon
  • Accommodations for his out-of-town guests & attendants 

Family of the Groom's Financial Responsibilities:
  • Save the Date announcements and Wedding Invitations
  • Engagement party
  • Wedding Planner
  • A gift for the bride and groom
  • Wedding dress & all of your accessories
  • Wedding attire for all of the bride’s family
  • Lunch/brunch for you and your bridesmaids on the wedding day
  • Bridesmaid’s bouquets
  • Personal flowers (corsages) for all grandmothers
  • Ceremony site rental and associated fees
  • Other ceremony décor

A Wedding Cake

• Reception beverages
  • Groom’s cake
  • Programs for the ceremony
  • Rentals for the ceremony and reception
  • Floral arrangements for the ceremony and reception
  • Music for the ceremony and reception
  • Reception location rental fees
  • Food for the reception
  • Reception floral arrangements
  • Other reception decor
  • Photographer
  • Videographer
  • Wedding cake
  • Favors
  • Transportation for you, the bride & her family, your wedding party and your family on the day of the wedding
  • Gratuities for any vendors above
  • Post-wedding brunch

Attendant’s Financial Responsibilities
  • A wedding gift for the couple
  • Their attire & accessories (purchasing or renting)

Again, none of this is set in stone, but it gives you an idea of where to begin.  Things to keep in mind when tailoring this list to fit you:

  • The financial situation of each party involved; if you’re in a position to shoulder more financial responsibility to make it easier for someone else, do it.
  • More contribution means more involvement: the more one party is footing of the overall bill, the more influence they should have in the decision making process
  • Division of the guests: if his parents give you a guest list that makes up half of your entire guest list, it’s okay to ask them to contribute more
  • Your age and position in life: if you’re getting married right out of college, it seems more practical and acceptable for your folks to pay for the majority of the wedding.  However, if you’re in your mid-thirties, have a career and mortgage of your own, you should foot a larger portion of the cost of the wedding

What’s the best approach to dividing up responsibilities?  Talk to your honey first, then call a meeting (kikao na wanakamati) where all contribution parties are present, and talk through it; it’s better for everyone to be clear and on the same page from the start, and it will save you costs along the way!